Tears of War~ Sequel to a Song of Angels

Tears of War

A woman’s story of the war and all the ghastly experiences that it entails. A tale of love and abandonment. This story takes the lives of several people in the war and shows the sorrow and loss that the war will cause innocent people to endure. It is an extremely intense and realistic story.  This is the continuation of “The Song of Angels”.
List of characters~
Anna Clarke- Is the older sister in-law of Sarah Clarke (Thomason) and has to experience the war on her own and take care of her baby girl.
Frank Clarke- Is Anna’s husband and is Sarah’s brother who chooses to fight and leave his wife alone.
‘Stonewall’ Jackson- Is a Confederate general and gets the nick-name ‘Stonewall’ because of his bravery on the battlefield.
Robert E. Lee- Is the commander of all the armies of Virginia and commands the most fatal battle that would make the South lose the war.
Sarah Clarke- Is the sister of Frank and later marries Scott Lawrence Thomason.
Marcus Cappers- Asked Anna to marry him and when she refuses to, he leaves her with the promise that someday they will meet again… but the way they meet is much different from what he expected.  
Aunt Frances- Who is in her forties and takes care of Ava when Anna leaves.
Ava Clarke- Is the child of Anna and has to be separated from her mother at only 2 years old.
Sophia Young- Is a kind nurse in the war that tries to mend all the broken hearts that the war has made for her fellow workers.
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It was a hot, sunny day and I had put Ava’s sun-dress on. We were out in the field picking violets when my husband came running out to me. Something seemed wrong. The sun gave way to ominous clouds that built up to a climax and started to pour out rain. I grabbed Ava and started for the house.
“Anna, I need to talk to you.” Frank grabbed my arm and pulled me inside.
 “What do you want?” I asked.
“Anna, they are recruiting soldiers to fight; please let me fight! I won’t be able to stand myself if I just stand by and let our state be taken over!” he pleaded and begged.
“But Frank! I need your help here! Don’t you understand? Ava might never see her father again! Don’t Frank!” the reality of it all flooded my thoughts and I broke down crying.
“But Anna, I’ll come back!” he touched my hair and looked at me. It probably seemed to him like I got so worked up over things.
“Frank! I love you too much to just let you go into the war; no one knows how bad it will get to be. You may never come back… don’t you realize the seriousness of this decision! Don’t you!” I screamed. I pulled away and ran into the other room. I couldn’t imagine what he would be like if and when he did come back. Men that fought in wars were always affected in some way by it. Maybe he will decide not to; how could he leave his wife and child here to the mercy of anyone that wants us! But the next morning proved different.
 “Anna, I’m leaving; do you want to say good-bye?” he asked me in the kitchen. I turned around and let out all my feelings in one long hug.
“Frank, I love you!” I sighed and dropped my hands from his shoulders. Tears of anguish flooded my eyes.
“I love you too sweetheart… I’ll be back. Don’t forget me.” He turned to go. I couldn’t believe that things could change so much in such a short amount of time. Ava and I watched him go. Down that long road; through the drooping leaves of the willow trees. A tear dropped on my apron and I quickly wiped it off. That night I told myself that we would be alright here and that I wouldn’t let this affect my relationship with Ava. She shouldn’t know that was going on inside me. She was so young to know that worries of a grown woman.
The next morning I woke up on a wet pillow. I got up and put on my night-gown. I walked silently down the stairs to the kitchen. It was early yet and the sun hadn’t quite come up yet. I stood in the very place I had stood when he left. I cried again, and when I finally opened my eyes, the sun had risen and was making the kitchen a golden color. I remembered a verse my mother had told me when father had died,
 I believe you'll outlive this pain in your heart
And you'll gain such a strength from what is tearing you apart
Oh, oh I believe I believe that. It's going to be alright
It's going to be alright.
“Mummy!” I looked down to see that Ava had followed me down. I swiftly wiped the tears from my face and picked her up in my arms. “Do you want some breakfast dear?” I bent over the oak table so that she wouldn’t see that I was crying again. After I had made some porridge for her, I began to straighten the house. We lived in a large house in a grove of chestnut trees. I was in the visiting room when I heard a knock on the door.
 “Ava! Stay where you are,” I called to her. Why am I getting so worried, it’s just a visitor. But you could never tell who would call anymore. I went to the door and opened it. My heart beat wildly as I looked out to see many men on horses standing in the road outside.
“We need to use your house for a look out for these men!” one of them called out. My blood ran cold. “We are Confederates and I suppose you are too; but we are setting up a line of spy look-outs and your house falls right in our path. There are other houses around here that you could stay in until we are done. Don’t you know that a war has started? Why, we already had to take that ole’ Fort Sumter! They’re getting regiments lined up as we speak. That old Lee has charge of the whole army of Virginia and I suppose that is where your husband is… am I right?” he asked.
“Yes, but this is my house. I can’t just give it over to some soldiers that come along,” I fought back though I knew it would be useless.
“Well, if you don’t jest go like we says then we’ll have to use some force with you! Jest leave and you can come back when the war is over,” he called out.
The next few days were a blur as I watched myself being moved out of the place I had loved, to a small crowed cabin that we shared with five other children. Life became hard and long and I often thought of what it would have been like, had Frank stayed here. For weeks after that, Ava and I took walks in the woods and watched summer fade into fall. Almost every time, we saw Confederate regiments marching on their way somewhere. Every time I went to the edge of the road and looked at all the faces there; looking for someone familiar, and yet every one of them was foreign to me. I felt so small and alone. After a few months however, Ava’s health had steadily decreased until I was forced to make a decision. I had to find my husband. It was all that I could do. But I couldn’t take Ava with me… so I decided to send a telegraph to my aunt in Louisiana. I didn’t know quite how to state our situation and it took me several days to think of it and finally send it.

Dear Aunt Frances~ I’m sorry that it has come to this, but I have to ask that you would take care of Ava while I am gone. I plan to join the army as a nurse so that I might find out where my husband is. We had been kicked out of my house because the soldiers needed it as head-quarters. We moved in with close neighbors who have five other children and I think Ava has become sick from such close quarters. I would appreciate everything that you can do for her. I will be back for her as soon as I can; but until then I trust her in your care… Love Anna Clarke

A tear dropped onto the table where I was writing. It would be so hard for her to understand what was happening now. Some day she would though. I couldn’t think how I could part with her. It would tear my heart. But the day came and I walked with her to the train station. I had to be very careful to give only the ticket and no information of us. The times had gotten so bad that you couldn’t trust anyone. I met Aunt Frances and said good-bye to Ava. She began to cry and I wanted to grab her up and take her home with me. But I had to let her go. That day I watched the last part of me being taken away from me.
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“Come on! Your too slow… you’re holding up the whole line!” yelled the man behind Frank.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Frank said. He was getting impatient as well. They had been marching all day with no breaks.
“Is this all we’re goin’ to do?” asked another soldier.
 “Shhhh! The generals going to get mad if he hears you talking like this all the time! Now just be quiet and march!” ordered the Lieutenant. Frank’s head hurt and his feet throbbed. This doesn’t feel victorious, he thought. He looked up to see that the general had come to see the condition of the regiment. Thomas Jackson stood so tall in the saddle and his eyes were so kind and loving.
“Men! We will make camp here and begin early in the morning. Rest well because we will be walking all day tomorrow. Lee has instructed us that we make it to Richmond early Friday morning. It is Wednesday night right now. Don’t make the camp too elaborate as we will be only spending the night. This may be the last time you have a whole night’s sleep for awhile! Good-night!” Jackson turned his horse around and headed off into the distance. Frank was glad that had decided to fight for the South. God had blessed them by giving them such a God-fearing man to be their general. The night was quiet and Frank laid in the dark and thought. How was Anna? He wondered. How was the baby? Were they alright? His mind whirled with all the things that could have happened; yet it never crossed his mind what really was happening right then.

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It took me three days to reach the recruiting station and I was tired and dirty when I finally got there. I was worried when I looked around and saw all the other women that had gathered there as well. Why would they pick me? I wondered. Maybe I should have stayed there? The verse from Proverbs 3:5-6 kept running through my head as I thought about what the future held for me. –
 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
“Hello, what’s your name, ma’m?” a man’s voice interrupted my thoughts and I turned to face him.
 “My name is Anna Clarke, sir,” I didn’t know what to say and I began to get nervous. If I wasn’t able to enlist, I would have to start all over again. It had to work. I said a silent prayer.
“Why do you want to join?” he asked. Why was he asking questions like this? He would probably kick me out if I just said that I was looking for my husband and didn’t really care about nursing the men. Not to mention that I didn’t know that first thing about nursing. I hope with all the breath I had in me, that he wouldn’t ask me what kind of practice I had.
“Well, sir, you see my husband joined the army and left me with our baby. I was hoping that once I got here I could find him. Please sir! I could be very useful!” I pleaded.
 “Well, I wouldn’t have picked you, but seeing as we need all the help we can get, I guess you can join. Just fill out this paper and then go over to that tent over there,” he pointed. I wanted to hug him and tell him thank you a hundred times! I quickly filled out the paper and left, thankful to be past him in case he changed his mind about me. That night all the women were huddled in a small tent. Some were brushing their hair, some were talking about life at home, and some were lying in the corner listening. I was one of those. I was content just to let them tell about their lives. I had to think about things. My heart ached already to see little Ava. I could imagine her smile and her voice saying ‘Mammy!’ every morning. I felt as if I had lost my whole being. Then I thought about Frank. What was he doing now? Maybe he was even here in this regiment! I couldn’t be sure.
 “And what’s your name honey?” asked a kind woman bending over the fire.
 “Me?” I wasn’t sure who she was talking to, when she didn’t even look at anybody.
“Yes, you,” she looked right at me and her eyes glowed a soft color in the fire-light.
 “My name is Anna,” I answered as nicely as I could, even though a lump was catching in my throat. She reminded me of my mother so much. Oh how I longed for those quiet evenings when we would sit beside the fire-place.
“And why are you here?” she asked. I didn’t really feel like talking about that subject again. That wound needed to heal.
“My husband left me to fight here,” I began to cry. “He left me and my baby alone. I didn’t know what to do. And then some Confederate soldiers came and took our house as spy head-quarters for them. Well, it’s a long story; but I wanted to find him. My baby is with my aunt right now. And I’m not afraid to admit it, I’m scared.” I cried for quite some time and when I finally stopped for awhile, I realized that a soft hand was brushing the hair back from my face. I looked up and saw that the woman had come over by me and trying to comfort me.
“It’s going to be alright. Everything’s going to work out just fine, honey,” she said soothingly. “Thank you,” I tried to stabilize my emotions enough to actually look at her, but my tears kept flowing freely. “Don’t worry about me; just get it all out, cry or talk, whatever makes you feel better. Those men can be nice one moment and you think everything is going to be fine… just the two of you together; and then they just leave you hanging! It’s a hard business, this war… it breaks so many families apart,” she sighed and got up to stir the fire. As I went to bed that night, I kept hearing this voice in me saying,
 “It’s going to be alright, don’t worry.”  
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There was a loud knock on the door.
 “Ava! Wait here a moment, I have to answer the door,” Frances shouted into the next room. She opened it and was overcome with Union soldiers that traipsed right into the house. “What do you need?” she asked hesitantly.
“We need you to leave! Now!” One of the men yelled.
“But… but this is my house; and you have no right to come and take it!” she was surprised that she had said that but not ashamed.
 “If you don’t leave, then we will have to use force! Now be gone… and don’t let me see you here again! Go!” The man turned around and motioned for the soldiers to come in.
“Ava, don’t cry; it will be alright dear,” Frances said as she bent down to pick her up.  Questions crowded her mind and she had only half of an hour to pack a few essential things before leaving. All day they traveled and finally reached a small inn that they stayed in that night.
“Good- night dear,” Frances said as she leaned over Ava’s bed. All night Frances tossed and turned in her bed. What will I do with Ava? Moving all the time will hurt her health. And then what will I tell Anna when she comes back? I can’t take care of her anymore. I can barely take care of myself. Where will we go? She got up and wrote a letter by the light of the moon. The light coming through the window panes cast eerie shadows on the walls.

Dear Sarah- I hate to tell you this news, but my house was also taken; this time by Union soldiers. I don’t even know where I will live and I don’t think that I can take care of Ava anymore. We need you here Anna. Your husband made that decision. He will have to suffer with the consequences of it, not you. Please come back! Ava and I both need you. If you come back, we can set up house somewhere else and not have to worry about being separated. I have already lost my only sister. I don’t want to lose my niece too.   Please Anna, make a wise decision. I don’t want you to have to worry about it the rest of your life. Do the right thing and come back! Please! Aunt Frances

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All the women gathered at the tent and received what letters there were for them. I went up and expected nothing, as it had been the last times we had done this. I had wished for a letter from Aunt Frances telling how they were doing. But what I got was much different. I didn’t know what to do. Should I go back and leave my husband here? Or should I stay and risk my only daughter’s life! All night I cried and prayed. I prayed more that night, than I had prayed in my whole life. My knees were red and chapped when morning came. The fresh light revived me somewhat but my tears gave me away.
 “What happened honey? Is something wrong?” Sophia asked.
 “My aunt that was taking care of my baby just lost her home, and can’t take care of the baby…” I broke down crying; so much for that promise to myself that I wouldn’t cry today.
 “Oh, I’m so sorry,” she looked down at my hands clasped tightly. My heart ached with pain and sorrow. What was going to happen? I couldn’t leave my husband now! Plus, they wouldn’t let me out once I signed up to serve.
 “Why don’t you write her a letter and tell her someone else that might be able to help?” Sophia asked. “There is no one else,” I said with despair. I would have if there was someone that could help. 
“What’s the matter?” another curious nurse came to my side. I looked at her and saw something familiar about her. It was Sarah!
 “Sarah! When did you get here?” I asked surprised.
 “Awhile ago…” She left off and looked at my sunken, tired eyes. “You haven’t been sleeping much lately, have you?” she questioned.
 “Well, no, I guess not,” I admitted painfully. I didn’t like to think of those sleepless nights that I spent in anguished thoughts. “What should I do?” I really wanted to get the answers now.
“Well, do you have any relatives?” Sophia asked.
 “None,” I answered. There was another knot-hole to our problems. Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes and I quickly put my head down to hide the fear that covered my face in its icy fingers.
The next morning I had decided that I would stay here and keep looking for my husband. I didn’t know exactly what to tell Aunt Frances but I had to come up with something before she took things in her own hands. I prayed that I had made the right decision and then sat down to write the replying letter.

Dear Aunt Frances- I know that you are going through some very hard times. But I really have no choice but to stay here. I know that you will think of something to do with Ava. I’m inclosing my savings so that you will be able to stay somewhere nice. Please take care of her as I know you will. I’m so very sorry that this has happened to you. I will come back as soon as I can. My best wishes, Anna.

I sent the letter with much grieving in my heart. How was I supposed to believe in a good God when he had done this to me? All I could do now was to wait and see what would happen.
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The battle had started and Frank rubbed his hand across his sweating brow. The tensions were rising and the soldiers were all anxious to see what the out-come would be.
 “Forward!” yelled Jackson. They all moved forward; some tripping on the others heels, but all moved at a run. The cannon fire was terribly loud and every face expressed looks of astonishment and fear.  Every few minutes Frank had to jump out of the way to avoid being pushed down by men flying from cannon fire. After two days, the battle of Fredericksburg ended with the South in the victory.
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My spirits rose as I thought of the prospect of the war being over. Little did I know that the war would rage for many more dark years. My mind was so excited over that thought, that I hardly noticed the faces of the patients I was treating. One day as I was leaning over one man, I saw something familiar about him. Something that I didn’t like; as I looked closer, I realized with dread, that this man was Marcus Cappers. My mind reeled and I felt dizzy; to think that I had been treating a man that I had hated ever since he has asked me to marry him. My mind went back to the day he had asked me. When I had said no, he replied that we would meet again sometime and that I should change my mind before that day. He didn’t know that I had married another man. I was brought back to reality when I felt his dirty bloody hand on mine. I wanted to pull it away, but he held with more strength then I thought he had.
 “Please! Do something for me! Please!” he could barely speak and I could imagine that the pain was unbearable. I had the choice to leave him there; I had the choice to block out his cries for help, to help some other needy person and leave him to die. I started to turn around, but I couldn’t find it in me to leave a man to die when I could help him. So after weeks of careful precision, restless nights, and many prayers, he was on the mend. I was afraid of what he would do when he got well again. I was always afraid to go over to his bed. I hated to even look at him and sometimes I wished I hadn’t helped him. Why did he have to get better? I questioned miserably. Now he will find out that I have married someone else and I will be plagued by endless thoughts of his face. Yet there was nothing I could possibly do to stop him now.
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“May I stay here? I will pay the rent,” Frances begged. The woman at the door looked down her nose at the poor woman standing there and then replied dryly,
 “I don’t take strangers, even if they pay the darn rent… now go away!” The woman slammed the door and Frances took Ava’s little hand in hers and kept on walking.  Maybe someone will answer our request, Frances thought with hope. They came to a small house with flowers in the window boxes. It gave her new hope.  Frances stopped to knock.
“Hello?” asked a woman from inside.
“Could we stay here? I would pay my rent. I really need somewhere clean for Ava here. Please!” Frances felt that this would be like any of the other places they had been in the last few days. The answer would be ‘no’.
 “Oh, you poor things; of course you may stay! It’s just me and my daughter and she will probably be leaving soon anyway. Come in,” she kindly instructed. Frances whispered a silent prayer of thanksgiving and stepped in. 
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The night was dark and Marcus kept looking behind him. The rain came down in torrents but the trees were somewhat sheltered. Every few moments he turned around thinking that he had heard foot-steps. The ghostly silence made him cringe. Then out of the darkness came a strong form. It accosted him and held up a gun. “Alright buddy, your times are up, come with me,” the voice seemed to echo through the forest. “You were pretty stupid to be walking in the woods at night, mister,” he added. He roughly grabbed his arm and dragged him through the grass. Marcus recalled what had been said about someone who was captured. They would be taken to Point Lookout, the ‘prisoner of war’ Union camp. It was the worst prison you could imagine and hardly any of the men that went in, came out again. None of them had ever felt freedom again.
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It was a hot day and I was very tired. I had thought often of Ava and Frances and wondered how they were doing. Did they find a place to stay? But I didn’t have long to dwell on those thoughts.
 “Women! We are getting the regiments ready to move on and I expect that we will need your skill and bravery very much in the coming days. Jackson says that he expects that there will be a long hard battle in the next few days. Please prepare yourselves the best you can. I know that it will hard to endure the things that you will see, but please do the best you can,” an officer informed the women.
The next few days were indeed very hard for all of us to bear. The battle of Chancellorsville was very heated and abrupt. We had hardly gotten our things ready when the first shot was fired and we began. Fear gripped my throat and I could hardly stand. I tried to block out everything, but the scene was too hideous before me. Every minute at least ten men fell down, dead. The cannon fire and blast pushed our forces back further and I saw mangled bodies lining the field. I looked down and saw a man lying close by. His eyes were glazed over with the look of death, and his fingers closed tightly around a stick to bear the pain that he felt. With a horror stricken expression he turned over, motionless. I shivered and continued plodding through the fields of moaning, traumatized men. The battlefield looked haunted and shadowy.  For hours I labored over each man. Holding and fondling their lives as a delicate flower. My head ached. To think that one of these men could so easily be my husband. It made my face lose its color and my blood ran cold. The reality of it all rushed upon me in one sudden current. We had now lost one hundred and fifty men in our regiment alone. I cried uncontrollably as I pulled jacket after jacket over the dead men. One after another died and left me with a motionless corpse. The hand of death had gripped us all. 
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The battle raged on and on, and Frank was worn and tired. The regiment refused to back down and everyone knew that they had to fight or else be kicked out. He saw the nurses huddled over the hurt soldiers and they reminded him vaguely of his wife. For a moment he remembered fondly, the evenings they had spent together. Then the cannon fire jerked him out of his memories. He began to load his rifle and was occupied in that for a few moments. But before he could aim and shoot, it was too late. He fell in agonizing pain and the blood seeped through his sleeve. It was only a few moments when he fell in to delirium and could no longer see how the battle progressed. He lay there; a helpless man.
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I rushed around the hospital making sure that the men were as comfortable as they could be. I was leaning over one of the men giving him some water. I heard a groan from the next bed and I hurried over to see who it was. My heart almost stopped beating after I had brushed back the blood-caked hair and realized who it was. I gasped. “Frank! How did you get here? Where have you been?” I asked. “Anna,” he could barely be heard. “Anna… I’m sorry… for all… the grief… I’ve caused…you…” I felt his pulse; it got weaker and weaker. “Oh Frank! I forgive you a thousand times! Oh Frank, will you be alright?” I held his hand to my cheek; it was rough and worn, but I loved it the same. For many days he hovered precariously between life and death. I had done all I could do and it was up to the good Lord to help him. But on the sixth day, he began to worsen. Around midnight I sat there by his bed, helplessly watching the last breath force its way through his sunken cheeks. And I stood there helplessly watching him leave this war-torn world. A sudden eerie silence covered the hospital and all I could hear was the groaning and sighing of the dying men. My heart felt empty and I fumble for words with which to describe my utter loneliness at that moment. I stepped outside and horror possessed my very soul as I saw the sickness, the sorrow, the turmoil, and the death of this war. It was a world of pestilence and sadness.
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 It was three years later and the war had raged on and on, taking with it, the love and life of so many men. I was tired of war and death and I eagerly waited to finally see Ava. I wrote a letter to Aunt Frances and told her that I would be home soon. I was overjoyed to think of going home and I was able to rejoice with Sarah when she told me that she was engaged. What wonderful news! It was a rainy day when I got the reply from Aunt Frances.

Dear Anna- I was very disappointed in your decision to stay in the army. I told you that you would regret it, and you will when you hear this news. Ava fell sick with the typhoid fever. I tried nursing her the best I could, but under such constricted circumstances I couldn’t help her. She died on April 12^th. I’m moving in with some friends. I’m sorry that it turned out this way. Perhaps we will meet again someday. Aunt Frances

The letter was so unemotional and unkind. I knew that she was angry at me and so was I. Why had I stayed there when I could have been helping my only daughter! It was terrible. I hadn’t even seen my husband alive for very long. My heart seemed torn in two directions and I mourned for a day when all the sorrow and tears would be wiped away.

 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever." Rev. 21:4

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I didn’t know yet what to do and so I stayed with Sophia for a while after the war ended. She kindly let me stay with her while I recovered from the shock and trauma over the last few weeks. Now I had no family to go home to, no one to love and adore. I felt utterly alone and defeated. Every night I cried tears of sorrow and hopelessness. I felt like an outcast, and those days were so heart-breaking that it is hard to describe them in full here. I decided after much thought to go back home and see if the soldiers had left yet. They should have, I thought defiantly. They said they would leave when the war was over, and Lee had already officially surrendered to Grant. As I rode home in a small train, I saw what the war had done to so many innocent people. Towns were abandoned for lack of food; others were collapsing and diminishing because all the men had gone to fight. I recalled with bitterness that I knew now what that felt like. My man…gone.
When I finally reached my home, it was dark and dreary. I didn’t see anyone or any horses in the yard. That’s a good sign, I thought. I unlocked the front door. After I had wiped my shoes, what was left of them, on the rug, I walked in. As I looked around, emotions cluttered my head and I wanted to fall down. All the things in the house reminded me of Ava or Frank. The house seemed big and empty. As I walked from room to room I cried. It wasn’t the same. Thunder rolled overhead and I walked to the window. The weather was ghostly and I closed my eyes to avoid the hideous sight. I went to the fire-place and tried to make a fire. But the soldiers had used all the kindling and the logs. All the logs outside were wet by now and I stood shivering. With the rain beating down, I was forced to spend the night cold, sorrowful, and weeping. I could hear the trees gently brush the side of the house like twilight ghosts.
Slowly my life turned around somewhat and I tried clean, wash, and shop like I had before. But nightmares still plagued my sleep and I struggled to keep from thinking of the war all through the day. Nothing was the same and I was faced constantly with the fact that I was alone.  One evening I was standing in the meadow. The breeze tickled my face and I breathed in the fresh scent of country smells. I looked about me and I felt as if my burdens had been erased right then. The grass was an emerald green and it shone like precious metals in the sun. It blew with the wind and willingly bent itself to endure the rough breath of the wind. I felt like the grass in similar ways. I had to bend myself to be able to endure the rough storms of life. Perhaps someday I will be able to straighten up; perhaps I will never be able to live as I once did. But whatever happened to me, I would always shine with reverence to my God. I crossed my arms and swayed with the breeze. A tear dropped onto my dress, except this time I didn’t hide it. I would cry many more tears and I wasn’t going to hide them. I had hopes for the future but I had no one to share them with. I was all alone. But the verse from Deuteronomy 31 helped me along the way… to battle the storms of life. -
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

  
          

All quiet along the Potomac to-night,
Where the soldiers lie peacefully dreaming;
Their tents in the rays of the clear autumn moon,
O'er the light of the watch fire are gleaming.
A tremulous sigh, as the gentle night-wind
Through the forest leaves softly is creeping;
While stars up above, with their glittering eyes
Keep guard, for the army is sleeping.

There's only the sound of the lone sentry's tread,
As he tramps from the rock to the fountain,
And thinks of the two in the low trundle bed,
Far away in the cot on the mountain.
His musket falls slack, his face dark and grim,
Grows gentle with memories tender,
As be! mutters a prayer for the children asleep--
For their mother--may Heaven defend her.  (A picket guard’s poem).